Bruja
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Being a cat is easy. Eat, Sleep and be better than everyone because you're a cat. But what happens when the cat happens to be a witch stuck in a feline body, and runs into the one man on the planet with major anger management issues that cause wide-scale destruction? Meet Bruja, the Hulk's pet kitty...and a bigger troll than Loki could hope to be.
1. Chapter 1

_She stared across the landscape with an expression of absolute despair and loss._

 _All this death...and for what? So a bunch of inbred hicks could claim they were better than everyone who wasn't like them?_

 _Looking at all the dead with absolute disgust, she turned to the spectral form standing silently beside her._

" _I'm ready. The sooner I leave, the happier I'll be."_

" _ **Once we set this in motion, you will have to wait many years before your magic resets and you're able to turn back."**_

" _As long as I keep my mind and remember why I agreed to this, I don't care. As far as I'm concerned, I'm just stuck in my animagus form."_

 _The spectral figure nodded, and she felt herself shrink fur sprang from all over her body and the scar that had plagued her for years vanished permanently. She could still talk to animals, which was an upgrade from the original gift, but she would have to relearn how to use her magic._

 _A small price to pay, considering she was already hearing rumors of a marriage law in the works, to repopulate their society._

 _Not her problem anymore._

* * *

When she first met Bruce, her initial reaction was to keep moving to the next town, playing as an innocent cat.

That was before she saw his eyes. She knew those eyes.

He was alone, and he could use some company that accepted him.

Which was why she followed Bruce back to his tiny, dirt hut with hardly any of the essentials. All he had was an old gym bag, some books that looked well worn, and threadbare clothes.

He didn't even have a proper bathroom.

So she stuck around, kept an eye on him.

And from what she saw, he had a forced isolation.

On a whim, she took down a wild chicken and brought it to him. Sure it left drag marks, but the look on his face was worth it. The fact he shared it, more so.

From there it only went downhill. After a particularly vicious dog left her with a bleeding paw, never mind that she won the fight, Bruce takes her to the local medicine woman, who she immediately can tell is a witch. A very powerful witch who isn't entirely fooled by her feline act.

"This cat has witch eyes."

"Witch eyes?" repeated Bruce. He had been debating what to name his new 'pet', because honestly he believed it would vanish the second the other guy showed up.

"You've never seen the cat's eyes properly, have you? No normal animal has eyes that clear or bright."

Bruce looked her in the eyes. He could see what she meant. No normal kitten could take out a chicken and drag it half a mile to his hut. He knew...he had traced it.

"Can you fix her leg?"

"Sí, but will take some time for it to heal properly. Your cat will not be able to hunt until leg heals," said the healer.

Which meant he would have to actually treat it like a pet, or her leg could heal wrong and become lame. And considering this was in the back country where cars were usually very, very old indeed, it was unlikely she would be able to survive with a bad leg.

"How much?"

"Five hundred pesos."

Bruce counted out the faded bills, which the woman accepted without asking. She fed the cat a potion, and told him to keep away from fennel for the next week. It would completely mess with the healing potion she had given the cat.

It was when he was back at his dirty shack that he seriously considered keeping the kitten he had found.

And for the next seven days Bruce took care of the cat as if he owned it. Strangely, having it around and even sharing his tiny bed made it easier to keep the Other Guy calm and sleeping.

After the leg was healed and the cat could hunt again, Bruce thought for sure it would up and leave.

Instead it immediately jumped onto his shoulder and started purring up a storm.

"I suppose this means we're a team now, huh?"

"Meowr?"

"Which means you'll need a name."

The cat, much to his disbelief, gives him her full and undivided attention. It was more human than he wanted to think about.

Bruce had, in the course of the week caring for the cat, thought up a dozen different names and tossed aside just as many. Finally, he settled on one that kept coming back.

Bruja.

"From now on your name is Bruja."

The cat tilted it's head, curious.

"I tried thinking up a better name, but since the medicine woman said you had witch eyes, I figured that was as good a name as any. So Bruja, for the Spanish word for witch."

The cat seemed to accept that explanation, because she rubbed her head against his cheek with a purr.

So now Bruce was in the tentative possession of a pet cat. An unusually intelligent pet cat who seemed to understand how to play games...he would claim temporary insanity due to only having Bruja to talk to... and was extremely adept at finding things he could sell for quick cash to buy food. And Bruja isn't picky about her leftovers. Most of the time anyway.

And for a blessed three months in the middle of nowhere in South America, Bruce goes without a single episode of the Other Guy showing up and ruining everything.

Then some drug runners find him...or more specifically they notice him during some highly illegal activity that he couldn't bring himself to care about and decide to make an example out of the foreign doctor.

Only things don't go according to the usual script of threats, pain, rage and the Other Guy making an appearance and ruining their day.

Well, actually it does, but it's the aftermath that causes the deviation.

He assumed Bruja would get scared and walk off, and he'd never see his temporary pet that kept him calm and incident free.

He _never_ thought for a second the Hulk would recognize his cat, and rather than roaring at it pick the feline up and put it on his shoulder, much like Bruja had a habit of doing and acting like some sort of furry parrot. Or for the cat to be holding his emergency bag around her neck when he did.

When he woke up, it was closer to Rio than he remembered...and Bruja is there on his chest, staring him dead in the eye with this strange mocking purr. Almost like she's telling him "You can't get rid of me _that_ easily Banner."

His acceptance of the newest addition to his life was quiet and unremarkable. But he found that he actually was a cat person, and that at least he had something to talk to, even if it was a cat.

To his eternal shock, not only does the Hulk accept Bruja's presence...she in turn has a strangely calming effect on the beast that lives inside his soul. He found himself reaching triple digits of days when he didn't have an episode, of where the Other Guy remains quietly in the background asleep.

It would come as little surprise to Bruce when he finally got his hands on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s file on him, that under a picture of Bruja was a very clear note stating "DO NOT HARM OR THREATEN!"

Apparently he wasn't the only person who noticed the cat's strange calming effect on the Other Guy...or the fact that he was quick to wake up if the cat was in any danger.

Bruja would sit on his shoulder like a furry parrot while he read his books, and after the first time he noticed it Bruce started reading it to her and explaining as if she were human.

The cat was an attentive audience and she would nip at him if he turned the page too quickly.

Slowly but surely, he was starting to have a semi-normal life between episodes.

* * *

Calcutta. It was amazing how much people who were sick and barely spoke a word of English opened up when you had an animal that didn't object to strange hands petting them.

Especially the kids. They were afraid and none too trusting of the American doctor who was helping their parents...but the moment Bruja's black-furred head popped out of his jacket or onto his shoulder, it all dropped away.

Bruja stayed on her best behavior while the kids petting her, sometimes even pulling her tail, and kept them calm while Bruce treated their families.

It was amazing how much people let their defenses down around friendly animals.

And they were more than happy to hide him in exchange for the fact he treated them so cheaply. He didn't even demand payment for his help, just the cost of the medicines.

He had only been there for a couple of months, but he felt as calm here as he had back in Rio.

Unfortunately that peace couldn't last.

It started simply enough. A little girl showed up with some American cash clutched firmly in her hand begging for help.

What was unusual was that everyone in the area would have known Bruce was treating something contagious and deadly, and that would be more than enough to get people to avoid the house for a few days.

Which made the fact she ran up the stairs with little to no hesitation something that set his inner alarms going off.

And if that wasn't clue enough, Bruja took one whiff of the money and jumped onto Bruce's shoulder. He could feel how tense she was, meaning she smelled something she didn't like.

So Bruce followed the girl, but he was clearly wary. And to emphasize that something wasn't right, Bruja immediately jumped into his shirt and curled around him.

She only did that when something was about to happen. Generally something that he wouldn't like very much. Even if was a sort of early warning system, Bruce had to get used to the feeling of her fur rubbing against his back when she popped out again.

At least she was considerate enough to claw his shirts, and not his skin.

Bruce figured out the second the girl ditched the ramshackle house that the whole thing had been a set-up, not that he hadn't guessed that from the start.

The red haired spy was clearly looking for something while she spoke to him. It took him a moment to realize that she was clearly trying to find Bruja.

And that actually amused him greatly.

"I have to ask... Did you people create some sort of file for me or something?"

Natasha, realizing she had been caught out, had a sheepish sort of smile.

"They added a notation after Rio to make sure you had your cat with you," she admitted. Seeing him clearly amused by that, she visibly relaxed.

Amusement was a far cry from the mindless rage and destruction the Hulk was capable of creating.

Bruja carefully popped her head out his shirt, and Natasha had to do a double take.

"Your cat is in your shirt?"

"She can smell a set-up faster than I can, so she gives me subtle queues when one shows up."

"So what's your answer Dr. Banner?"

"If I agree to this, will I be allowed to leave after?" he asked bluntly.

"All I know is that you were the best person we could reasonably ask to help us find the cube. You'll have to talk to Director Fury for travel arrangements after," she replied honestly. The fact that they might need to bring out the Hulk was an unspoken possibility, but currently not on the table.

Bruce wasn't happy, but it was also clear that he had limited options. He just hoped Bruja didn't react badly to being in a plane.

"We also brought a carrier in case...Bruja...gets antsy in the plane," said Natasha. That seemed to make him relieved. He had seen what happened when she got angry. He didn't need a nervous and claw-happy cat on his hands.

As they boarded the jet, Bruce kept a firm hand on his cat, and the carrier was close enough that he could put her in very quickly.

Bruja didn't even care. She just rolled over and went to sleep.

"That is one laid back cat," said Natasha.

"If you think the Other Guy is nasty when he's angry, you should see how bad Bruja is when she's mad. I think the last drug dealer who stepped on her tail had to go in for emergency surgery, and stray dogs learn pretty fast to leave her be," said Bruce.

"May I?" asked Natasha. She wasn't an animal person, but there was something about Bruja that made people want to pet her. It was like a universal reaction to her presence.

Bruce gently moved his cat onto the seat, and Natasha marveled at how silky the cat's fur was. It didn't take much before she rolled over and started purring her head on Bruce's lap.

Before they knew it, they were on the helicarrier.

"If I were you, I'd put Bruja in the carrier now, before the ship moves. It'll get very loud and might startle her," advised Natasha. It was hard not to like Bruja.

Bruja clearly didn't like the carrier. She kept giving Bruce dirty looks, and Natasha had a hard time not laughing when she saw them.

And when the helicarrier lifted off, it was clear the cat gave as much notice to the noise level as she had with the jet. Aside from pinning her ears to her skull, she didn't so much as blink an eye.

Bruce was quick to let her out once he was in the lab. She put her back firmly to him, making it clear she was mad at him.

She forgave him when he put a chicken sandwich with some extra butter next to her. She loved chicken.


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce had thought he had seen everything when it came to his cat.

He had been wrong. So very, very wrong.

Bruja took one look at Tony Stark...and to his shock (and the amusement of everyone else) she apparently decided he was her new personal springboard.

The yelp he let off when he realized there was a cat on his back was hilarious. Natasha was trying very, very hard not to laugh, and Coulson was clearly hiding his own by ducking out of sight.

He eventually took pity on the eccentric millionaire by _carefully_ extracting Bruja from his shoulder. The cat looked unbearably smug as she sat calmly on Bruce's shoulder.

"What the heck is _that?!"_

"Bruja."

Steve wasn't even trying to hide his grin. It probably didn't help that Bruja had settled her paws on Bruce's head and that her fur almost matched his hair color, so it looked like he had cat ears.

"Why would you name your cat after a witch?"

"Why not?" said Bruce.

"I think I have a new liking for cats," said Coulson with a straight face.

Tony clearly disagreed.

* * *

The 'feline standoff' between Tony and Bruja continued in the lab, as it was clear the cat rarely went very far from Bruce. And since Tony was eager to have Banner in his labs, if only for someone to talk to, he would have to live with the cat.

Finally Bruce took pity on the eccentric inventor and handed him some chicken that was cut up into bite-sized pieces. It took Tony a moment before he figured out it was for the cat.

Once Bruja accepted food from Tony, she let him be.

"So why a cat?"

"She's not scared of the Other Guy, and having her around keeps him calm. Though if you really want to see something weird..." said Bruce, grinning.

He started humming a few bars of a well known cat food commercial...and to Tony's disbelief the cat started meowing the rest.

"Your cat knows the _Meow Mix_ song?"

"I learned it's better not to ask why Bruja does something, just accept it and move on."

Once Bruja settled into her chair, they got to work. Occasionally she lifted her head up and gave them an odd look.

Both men ignored her presence...so naturally after Loki was captured it took Bruce a few minutes to realize his cat wasn't in the room.

"Have you seen Bruja?"

"Last time I noticed her she was on the chair sleeping."

Before Bruce could ask, Natasha came in with an odd look on her face.

"Are you aware your cat is staring Loki down in containment?"

"What?!" yelped Bruce.

He was out the door before she said anything else.

Tony looked at her.

"Is that evil cat of his really staring Loki down?"

Natasha nodded.

"That was after she somehow managed to knock decaf coffee into the machine when someone was in the middle of cleaning it out. Fury was pissed when he went to make a cup."

There were a few other things she had done, but that was the second biggest thing. It was just lucky she was so vital to keeping the Hulk calm and sleeping, otherwise Fury would have shot her.

"...The containment is right outside the window, isn't it?" said Tony, going to the window to look.

There, sitting calmly on the console was the cat. And Loki was definitely having a stare down with the feline. Tony flipped on the audio, to Natasha's amusement.

The second Bruce made it down to containment, Loki broke eye contact first and sneered at him.

" _Well if it isn't the beast who plays at a man. Here to retrieve your pet witch?"_

Bruce ignored him and picked up his cat.

" _I don't care if you found out her name from Agent Barton, but leave Bruja alone,"_ he stated flatly. He turned and completely missed the look of confusion on Loki's face.

Tony, however, didn't.

"He did get the cat's name from Barton, didn't he?"

"I can't imagine a reason why Loki would care about a cat," said Natasha, also confused.

* * *

Bruja's behavior went from slightly quirky to just plain odd.

For one thing, the moment Fury and the others practically stormed in to yell at Stark, Bruja jumped onto the staff and without warning used it to blast the wall. She was letting off a low growl that said she was about to give someone a very, very bad day.

The last time Bruce heard that growl, the guy had to go to the emergency room...which he only found out after the fact two countries away. After he had "Hulk'd" out on the jerk.

They saved his eye, but the guy was terrified of cats after.

After she blasted the wall, everyone's attention was firmly on her.

Bruja leaped off the staff, and went to a computer. She seemed to dance off the keyboard until a few things popped up.

One was a picture of Loki after he first arrived through the Cube. The next was a picture of Barton, also right after the initial attack.

Bruce slowly moved to pick his cat up. He took his time not because he was afraid of her going after him, but because he sensed she was trying to tell them something. Something important.

One by one, six letters appeared across both pictures in capital letters.

T

H

A

N

O

S

Her message passed, Bruja allowed Bruce to pick her up without any threat of her claws.

"Care to explain doctor?" asked Fury, not amused at all that the cat had essentially threatened them.

"Who or what is a Thanos?" asked Tony.

"Thanos, the Mad Titan. He courts death and is considered a general threat to many planets," supplied Thor.

"What does Thanos have to do with Loki and Barton?" asked Natasha.

Bruja glared at her. She let out a loud yowl before squirming out of Bruce's arms and back to the computer.

Except instead of messing with the keyboard she started pawing at the picture of Loki. Specifically the area where his eyes were.

Bruce looked closer, before realization hit.

"Thor, what color are Loki's eyes normally?"

"Green, like the cat's," said Thor immediately.

"Then why are his eyes the same blue color as Barton's?" said Bruce.

"What."

Fury immediately pulled up the picture of Loki in the containment, and sure enough his eyes were clearly a light blue. The same color he saw in Barton's before he escaped.

"What can you tell us about Thanos?"

"He covets the Infinity Stones, relics of great and terrible power. And he seeks to court Hel, the Goddess of Death," replied Thor.

"Is it possible this Thanos is controlling Loki the same way he controls Agent Barton?" asked Natasha intently.

"It is more than possible, but likely. It would explain where Loki received the staff and how he gained an army so quickly," said Thor.

Considering the Cube _was_ an Infinity Stone, it was entirely likely Thanos was using his brother to get at it, and destroy a potential threat in the same move. The fact Loki's eyes were the same color as Agent Barton also meant that he might not be in control of his actions.

At the very least it gave Thor hope his brother wasn't lost.

* * *

The explosion rocked everyone on their feet. The second one sent Bruja and Bruce onto the floor. Thor, who had been close to them, crashed nearby and ended up pinned by a filing cabinet.

Bruce was already having a hard time controlling his anger at the whole situation. It didn't help that Fury wanted to find out whether Bruja was a cat at all, let alone how she managed to use the staff even briefly.

So naturally when his heart rate started to go up and his control started to slip, he began to panic.

 _No, no, no...don't wake up. Please keep sleeping,_ Please!

Thor seemed to recognize something was wrong. But before a single word could be said...Bruja managed to get out from under Bruce's protective hold and look him in the eye.

What happened next threw the idea of Bruja being a very smart cat right out the window.

Thor found himself in a glade of flowers. It wasn't real, because he couldn't actually _feel_ the petals or smell them, but it felt real enough.

But for Bruce, it was like he had been removed from the helicarrier and taken away from the cause of stress.

His breathing evened out and his pupils no longer looked dilated and green. Thor could feel another explosion and the helicarrier dipping, but Bruce couldn't.

Thor looked at the cat impressed. It took someone with actual skill and a large amount of power to pull off this sort of illusion.

Skill enough to turn into a cat for long periods of time without losing themselves.

With Bruce taken care of for the moment, Thor went to find Loki.

Bruja noticed him leaving, but didn't remove the illusion.

Bruce looked his cat in the eye. He was calmer, but he was beginning to see past her furry exterior.

"You're not really a cat are you?"

He had always been so relieved to avoid an incident he had never questioned the weird feeling of zen-like peace and the memory of flowers.

Bruja meowed, as if to say no.

"Who or what are you?"

Bruja tilted her head. Then Bruce heard something, like a voice in the back of his mind.

 _Your friend...and someone who would like to prolong Fury's attention for as long as possible. Otherwise I won't be able to spike the coffee machine again._

Bruce couldn't help it. He laughed.

"How are you able to talk to me like this?"

 _You know that staff? There's a reason why Loki was able to control minds, even while he was under control of someone else. If you can get me to the glorified paperweight again I can cut the connection off._

"What are we waiting for then?" said Bruce. He was much calmer, even if he had more questions than answers.

The moment they were back in the lab, Bruce watched as Bruja bounded across the floor and to the staff, which miraculously hadn't fallen.

Then, despite any evidence it was capable of doing so in the first place, she calmly sat on the staff...and without warning the thing was _floating_.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...that thing can fly?!" said Bruce incredulous.

 _If you understand the mechanics of broom flight, and know how to access the interior power source... Yes the staff can fly. Now to go give Fury headaches~!_

Bruja sounded entirely too gleeful, and Bruce debated on following her or seeing if Fury kept alcohol in his office.

Considering the headache he had, he went in search of some industrial strength aspirins first.

* * *

The "Avengers" were torn between laughing from the sheer disbelief and no little amount of shock, or trying to catch the flying cat.

Or in the case of Bruce and Fury, waiting for the migraine medication to kick in.

Tony was firmly on the side of trying to figure out _how_ the cat was making the staff fly, and laughing.

Steve and Natasha were on the side of _catching_ the flying feline, who insisted on going near them before making absurd dives and sudden accelerations, causing _them_ to crash, usually into each other. Coincidentally this was also the main source of Tony's amusement.

Finally Fury had enough.

"Dr. Banner, please tell your cat to quit flying with the staff," he said.

Bruce gave him an incredulous look.

"She's a cat. She doesn't exactly listen to humans on a good day."

Tony snickered.

"She listens to you, doesn't she?"

Bruce couldn't look him in the eye. Still, he did have _one_ way to get Bruja's attention. He reached into his pocket and pulled out...

"Is that a laser pointer?" said Tony.

Bruce pointed the laser at a random wall. Without warning, Bruja made a sharp turn, causing Steve to crash into Coulson and sending both men onto the floor. Tony lost it, because they were very, very close to _kissing_ with how their faces were angled.

Bruce had the cat chasing the laser until she came to a smooth stop within arm's reach.

He would have taken her off it, except she made it clear she wasn't in the mood to listen to him. Instead they came to a compromise in that she wouldn't be flying around the place.

When they finally managed to extract the feline off the staff...the glow was much dimmer. Not that anyone noticed, considering how bright the room was.

Bruja was clearly pouting at being stuffed in the cage again. Not even chicken could cheer her up.

But she had the last laugh. She stole the Stone inside from right under everyone's noses and no one knew!


	3. Chapter 3

It was a good thing she had magic, otherwise opening the pet carrier that Bruce had stuffed her in would have made her a sitting duck.

Unseen and ignored by both sides, Bruja steadily made her way up to the tower where the opening was. Spotting a Chitauri staff, Bruja pounced on it, and using a little magic, began to fly unaided as if it were a broom.

She was not running up all those damn stairs attempting to get to the penthouse when a little magic and something to conduct it was perfectly serviceable for her needs.

And once she was up there, she found Loki laid out flat after a run-in with the Hulk.

Chortling in her feline language, she smugly stood over Loki's prone form.

"Are you here to mock me as well, witch?" he asked.

 _If by mock then to tell you that I've informed Thor that you were under the control of Thanos..._

Loki's glare would have cowed lesser beings. Bruja merely licked her paw and started rubbing her ears.

"Who or what are you?"

Bruja 'said' nothing, merely jumped off his chest and went wandering around the destroyed penthouse. Her tail flicked this way and that, and Loki could see even from his half raised position that whichever direction her tail flicked, something either fixed itself or changed into something amusing.

All without once changing into her true form.

Truly a powerful sorceress on par with his mother Frigga.

Then the 'cat' walked over to the Chitauri staff that he hadn't seen on all the rubble and calmly jumped on the 'back' end of the staff. To his shock, the staff rose up as if it had the ability to fly, and rose higher until it reached the roof. Loki couldn't see what the cat did...but he saw the effects.

One moment there was a massive hole above New York...the next there was a massive explosion in the sky as the connection was abruptly turned off. He could _feel_ something happen that wouldn't be seen by mortal (or almost immortal) eyes, but his magic sensed something bond to that of a greater whole.

He had no idea what the 'cat' did...but whatever it was, she had become much, much stronger and dangerous.

* * *

Tony was torn between amazement and horror when he realized Bruja had not only repaired his floor...but had switched around his collection of liquor.

Since the world was safe for the day, and they were all in the recently fixed penthouse courtesy of Banner's pet, every single one of them had one question.

What the _hell_ was Bruja?

As it turned out, only Loki (and to a lesser extent Thor) had any clue what Banner's "cat" was.

"She's a witch at the least, and a sorceress at best," said Loki tiredly, his eyes a green as opposed to the electric blue from before.

"Wait...you're telling us that Bruce's cat is _human_?" said Natasha. While it explained a lot, it didn't explain why she was still a cat.

Loki eyed the feline warily.

"I suspect there's a spell on her that keeps her in feline form. It would take very little effort to find and break it."

 _Do it and I'll claw your face off,_ said Bruja.

Everyone jumped when they heard her 'speak' directly to their minds.

"Okay things have moved from weird straight to freaky," said Tony officially. Natasha wasn't the only one who nodded in absolute agreement.

"Why don't you want the spell broken?"

 _I get away with a lot more as a cat, not to mention I really didn't like being "human" in the first place,_ said Bruja, flicking her tail around in agitation. It was clear she didn't want to explain further.

Unfortunately, Loki wasn't in the mood to care about how pissed she was going to be.

With a snap of the fingers, Bruja yowled in anger. But the damage was done.

She started to grow bigger and bigger, and she tried in vain to keep her feline form. Hel had fixed her body so that she wouldn't have to worry about her mind being lost the longer she stayed a cat. However as a side effect, she had been more or less "stuck" as a cat for the better part of several years.

As a result of her trying to stay a cat, her ears firmly stayed cat-like, and her tail remained. But the rest of her changed back to human.

"Meowr! You're an ass," she hissed, her tail flicking back and forth.

Steve's face went bright red, as she hadn't a stitch on. The rest were more or less unmoved by the sight of a naked young woman on Tony's floor with cat ears and a long silky black tail flicking this way and that in anger.

Natasha had the presence of mind to go into Tony's room and steal a shirt which _barely_ covered the girl to give her a remote sense of decency.

The girl known as Bruja looked at the shirt in distaste.

"I really don't like being human," she whined.

Bruce, full of curiosity, scratched the girl's ears. Bruja started purring from deep in her throat, as her agitation slowly bleed away around her favorite human. Her head leaned into his hand.

"So Miss Kitty, do you have a proper name?" asked Tony, full of amusement.

Bruja glared at him.

"Not telling, nya," said Bruja sticking her tongue out.

Tony took the implied challenge.

"JARVIS, take a photo of Miss Kitty and do a search for anyone who fits her description minus the ears and tail."

" _As you wish, sir,"_ said JARVIS _. "Search complete. One record found...but it's in a secure file."_

"Who's?"

" _The file belongs to a remote section of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s watch list...and there's a link already established under the Avenger files. However there are no official records on any databases."_

"Nyahaha. You'll never get my file. It doesn't exist~!" said Bruja, smirking, she was leaning on Bruce much like she had as a cat, only this time his face was red because she most definitely a human female. The shirt _barely_ covered her bottom.

Tony went looking for a tablet. In the meantime, Natasha was given the unhappy task of trying to convince Bruja to at least wear one of Pepper's skirts.

If only so they could take her properly clothes shopping later.

"Found it!" said Tony triumphantly. His good mood went sour in a hurry when without warning his tablet suddenly got infected with so many viruses it was frozen on the page it was one.

There, in a single page, was a picture of Bruja...except she at least several years younger, looked like a runaway, and the name was on another page entirely.

Tony was beyond confused as to how that many viruses managed to get past JARVIS.

He wasn't entirely shocked when Fury called a minute later demanding to know what he was doing in that particular section of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s secure files.

" _Stark, why are you trying to gain access to S.T.A.F.F's secure files?"_ demanded Fury.

"S.T.A.F.F.?" he repeated.

" _Need-to-know Stark. And since you don't fit their requirement, you don't need to know,"_ stated Fury. _"Now why are you trying to access their files?"_

"I was trying to find Bruja's real name."

" _... Bruja is a magical witch, isn't she."_

"Well Loki broke some sort of spell on her and she became human."

" _Loki is sane again?"_ asked Fury.

"Apparently the cat wasn't kidding when she told Banner he was under the control of someone else. Thor's taken him back to Asgard, but he expects some leniency since he wasn't entirely in control of his actions."

" _Send me a picture of the cat's human form and I'll see about getting you temporary clearance to view them."_

The second Fury saw her picture, he started swearing. Tony was actually impressed.

" _Are you certain this is what she looks like?"_

"I just took that picture."

Fury swore again. Tony was amused.

" _Give me five minutes. This is going to be kicking over an anthill only to find out it's fire ants inside,"_ he muttered.

* * *

The Avengers gathered round as Tony blew up the files Fury sent. The further they read, the more they kept stealing glances at a pouting Bruja...or Diana Gloria Potter-Black, the Woman-Who-Survives, among other rather lame nicknames.

Bruja yowled in frustration, before turning back into a cat and curling up in Bruce's lap. She _hated_ being reminded of her life as a human.

The more they read about her life...and this "S.T.A.F.F." group had done an extensive profile of her history...the more they understood her desire to remain a cat, rather than face her past.

Clint and Natasha, more than most. If they had the choice of being an animal full time, and escaping their memories, they'd take it in a heart beat. Especially if they could change at will.

Diana had a really shitty life, on par with Clint and Bruce's abusive one, only it wasn't intermittent. Her family hated her for having magic, the society that called her their savior went from golden girl to pariah and then in the end they tried to force her into marrying someone who could very well be her cousin though some marriage law that only fell through because the Queen heard about it at the last minute.

The only genuinely _good_ memories she could claim was spending those years as Bruce's pet cat. At least she didn't have to worry about him abruptly dying off on her like everyone else she had grown close to.

Of course there were still highly awkward mornings when Bruce would wake up and find that his cat had suddenly gone from animal to human...and was completely starkers. It was debatable whether Bruja...or Diana, apparently...was interested in Bruce as more than just her 'owner' or if she just didn't care about whether she walked around without any clothes on. About the only thing she kept at all was her collar with the dented and tarnished bell around her neck.

Hearing the rumbling purr of the cat, they all shared a look and decided not to bring it up. Much like they didn't mention Natasha's training to become the Black Widow, Clint and Bruce's family, or Tony's dad.

They weren't going to begrudge someone their piece of happiness, even if they did find it in an unusual way.

* * *

"So...since she's been taking human form a little more often, I'm thinking she'll need clothes. Borrowing Bruce's shirts isn't going to cut it long term," said Tony.

"Give me a credit card and something that isn't too bad and I'll take her," said Natasha. "Of course I'll drag Pepper with me, since she'll likely be holding the purse strings."

Out of the entire tower, only Pepper or Bruce could get Bruja to wear clothes with any consistency.

Seeing the look on Pepper's face, Tony knew this would be either very bad or very good for him later.

Pepper had an un-amused look on her face.

"You mean to tell me that you could be wearing clothes whenever you shift, but you've never bothered with it?"

"I spend most of my time as a cat, nya. Why should I care about walking around starkers, nya?" said Bruja making a pouting face.

Pepper had seen the bare bones of Diana's history. The girl was starved for affection and likely hadn't had any decent mothering since she was forced to end a war.

Pepper might not be a mother...but she could pull off the "big sister" vibe well enough.

She tweaked Diana's nose.

"You are going to wear clothes outside your room or I'll throw out all the catnip and milk."

"You're mean, nya," said Diana with a whine. But she reluctantly put a spell that made it look like she was wearing a light dress made out of cotton instead of being completely naked like normal.

The white dress attached to her 'collar', almost like a neck-let. Tony had sent her bell away and it was now dent-free and shiny.

"Better?" she asked. Pepper scratched her ears, and she purred.

"Now...let's see if we can't give you an actual wardrobe."

When they returned to the tower five hours later, the change was apparent.

* * *

Bruce couldn't help but stare at Bruja...Diana.

Properly dressed in an outfit that suited her figure, she looked... hot. He was having trouble keeping his eyes off her. And he wasn't the only one.

"Damn. The kitty cleaned up good, didn't she?" whistled Clint.

Perhaps the most attractive thing about the cat-eared Diana (she refused to have normal ears and her tail mostly acted like a belt) was that she didn't seem to notice her appearance. Her beauty didn't mean that much to her and she didn't try to be seductive or anything.

Then again this was a young woman who often lazed about the afternoon as a cat, or rode around Bruce's shoulders like some sort of furry parrot while he was working.

She didn't need to work on her appearance to be attractive. She had some sort of strange animal magnetism that drew the attention of men (and the occasional women) to her without even trying. And that was before you realized that she had a pair of cat ears flattened against her hair, or a long silky black tail. The black dress only accentuated her figure, rather than hid it.

Bruce suddenly became much more aware of the fact that she had a habit of curling up against him without anything on. And that his pet cat was anything _but_ a cat, but a powerful sorceress that made even Loki think twice about pissing her off.

So in a bit of morbid curiosity, Bruce looks up his girlfriend. The one he almost killed by accident while he was the Hulk. He still hadn't gotten a grasp of the transformations at the time, but he always blamed himself.

The moment he found out about her engagement, any guilt he had over his feelings for his 'cat' slipped away. Obviously she had moved on with her life...perhaps he should do the same.


	4. Chapter 4

**Let's get one thing straight people. Bruja is ridiculously overpowered, but she isn't perfect. She's a lazy cat who has trouble remembering about nudity taboos, and would gladly laze about in the sun or lounge on Bruce in her feline form. She could care less about fighting unless her favorite people are being threatened, she can't stand the press, and her biggest goal in life is to give people headaches while trying to figure out how the hell she's flying.**

* * *

"Is it confirmed?" asked a voice. They were in a tower several hundred yards away from the Avengers Tower.

"Confirmed. Also Potter appears to have messed up the animagus transformation. She has cat ears and a tail, and doesn't seem bothered about fixing it."

"After all this time, and she shows up in America. She should have guessed we'd follow her once that file was accessed...and when she started flaunting the statute."

"Not our problem. Send it on up and let the idiots in the DMLE deal with her. I'm not risking my neck against that woman," scoffed the first voice.

Before the second voice could say anything, the first felt a gun pressed not too gently against his temple.

"See, we don't exactly like it when people act stupidly. Particularly when a bunch of inbred idiots trespass without asking," said a voice. This one was female.

The man slowly turned to see a woman wearing the S.T.A.F.F. insignia.

"Who are you?"

"Potter's protection. So long as she keeps the Hulk quiet and isn't causing trouble, we could care less if she shares magic with the Avengers. She's not your problem anymore," said the witch sweetly.

Ever since Fury gave Stark the clearance to read the file, S.T.A.F.F. had given the Avengers Tower a four-block warding perimeter. So long as the infamous sorceress was content to stay with Banner, they'd leave her be unless they had no other options.

She wasn't causing trouble and she was keeping the Hulk from going on a rampage. Ergo, she wasn't their problem.

"Now you're going back to your superiors and telling them Potter is off-limits. Or else we'll bring this up to Steven Strange and have him bring you louts to the Queen where you can explain _why_ you're harassing a single witch who's clearly not a criminal and so far out of your jurisdiction."

The wizard gulped, and made a quick getaway.

The witch holstered her gun, before calling this in.

"This is Agent Fae. We might have some company from the Brits soon," she said.

" _Confirmed, return to base. Depending on where they show up next, we might have to let Potter make a statement before we call in the Commander."_

* * *

 _Two weeks later..._

If one were to question how the hell this day went wrong, Tony would unequivocally point it at the time when the weirdos in the outdated and clashing outfits showed up, demanding to see Potter over some statute or another in authentic British accents.

Bruja definitely recognized a few of the idiots.

And she was _pissed_.

One minute she was on Bruce's shoulder, laying around his neck like some sort of furry scarf, the next she was in human form looking livid about something.

Tony had to go back to the recordings JARVIS made the moment the Brits suddenly showed up while they were bringing Jane Foster, Thor's human girlfriend, some tech that she had asked for and Thor bought for her.

What happened was nothing less than a testament to how much the innocent-looking black cat that acted as Bruce's pet was in fact a powerful sorceress who wasn't afraid to pull out all the stops when pissed off.

Much like Bruce, she was an unstoppable force of destruction when she was angry. Especially after Tony heard something about a law that seemed to make her even more furious, if that was possible.

If they came back a second time, Tony would be surprised. Diana really didn't hold back with her magic against them.

Hell, she didn't calm down even when she switched back to cat until Bruce bribed her with catnip. Even then, she was on edge and angry.

"Any idea what that was about?" Tony asked Bruce. He shook his head.

To top things off, a pair of agents _NOT_ from S.H.I.E.L.D. showed up the next morning asking to speak to Bruce's cat.

Bruja left and came back ten minutes later, her residual anger having bled away into annoyance.

Needless to say the Avengers were all buzzing with curiosity.

Seeing their expressions, Bruja sighed in annoyance.

"It seems S.T.A.F.F. has been keeping an eye on me, ever since Tony accessed my files. They've left me alone because I haven't been causing trouble, but since the inbred hicks from home have started to make a fuss, they going to put me on the active roster. Officially I'm their liaison with the Avengers, much like Clint and Natasha are your liaison with S.H.I.E.L.D.," she explained tiredly.

"So what does that mean?" asked Natasha.

"It means that I'm now part of the 'magical' branch of the organization you work for, but I operate under someone other than Fury. In the event S.H.I.E.L.D. is exposed or forced to work from scratch, S.T.A.F.F. and S.W.O.R.D. remain active and work from the shadows."

"S.W.O.R.D.?" said Tony, clearly eager to begin looking into that as well.

"The branch of S.H.I.E.L.D. that operates on the alien side of things. Technically Loki would be their problem, had he not started working on Earth directly. They're still trying to become officially active. Coincidentally since you have a habit of breaking into S.H.I.E.L.D. files anyway, Fury ordered all of theirs be hard copy until it's properly active and operational as more than just a contingent of his group."

Tony looked slightly disappointed. Hard copy meant paperwork, and that meant he couldn't hack into it.

"So what now?"

"Just means that when they have an issue that they can't solve on their own, they'll ask me for help. My current 'assignment' according to their files is keeping the Hulk quiet, apparently," said Diana, yawning. Seeing the look on Bruce's face, she gave him a lazy eye. "I've been acting as your pet because I want to, not because I'm being paid to do it. They just needed a reason to explain why I'm not on assignments like Clint or Natasha."

She promptly shifted into Bruja before using Tony (who squawked indignantly) as a springboard to land on Bruce's shoulders were she took her preferred spot around his neck.

Bruce scratched her ears absentmindedly, wondering if he should be second guessing why she stayed with him.

By night he would dismiss all his worries anyway.

Diana was another survivor like himself. She hadn't come looking for the Hulk or for Bruce personally...fate had brought them together. And she stayed with him even after learning of the Other Guy. She hadn't been impressed, which was probably the biggest reason Bruce had kept his cat as long as he had.

Well, that and the Other Guy was clearly fond of her for some unfathomable reason.

* * *

 _Three weeks later..._

It was official. He needed to leave the populated areas for a while and let the Hulk have some room to roam.

If it wasn't the odd English wizard or witch showing up, demanding to see Diana for one reason or another, it was finally cracking down and reading exactly how badly they had screwed her over before she became a simple black cat.

The Hulk was mad that these people were trying to drag Bruja back into _their_ problems, and he wanted out. Or at least a chance to vent.

Fortunately no one asked any awkward questions. All he had to do was mention that the Other Guy was becoming antsy, and he was given a free trip to some island that had zero inhabitants where the Hulk could run around causing as much damage as he liked until Bruce came to again and called for a ride. Or, since Bruja insisted on going, have her teleport them back. The Hulk clearly didn't mind Bruja or her human form Diana.

More than once Diana had been riding on his back with her arms down his front in nothing more than the odd white dress she was always in unless she deliberately wore clothes, usually with a lazy expression on her face.

(Think Yachiru riding on Kenpachi from _Bleach,_ only with an older body and you get the idea.)

Diana usually applied a wandless sticking charm so she didn't go flying off the Hulk's back, and he clearly didn't even notice her weight as he went off running. Her mastery of magic was so great that she made instant shields that blocked anything heading her way.

The Hulk could be in the middle of a fire fight, and he wouldn't feel even a single bullet, much less the shrapnel from anything he was tearing apart. Diana would create shields around him a split second before they would hit, causing them to bounce off or stop without warning. All while the cat-eared girl rode on his back, her tail moving in a lazy manner like it was all great fun. Sometimes she didn't even have her eyes open when she did it.

Once on the ground, and the plane in the air once more (they'd been ordered not to stick around once Bruce and his 'cat' were on the ground) Bruce let the Hulk's frustration at the magicals attempting to steal Diana back out. It didn't take much, and the Hulk had been in a foul mood for nearly a month anyway.

Bruja didn't even blink. She shifted into her half-human form, and the Hulk let her climb onto her preferred spot on his right side. Her arms lazying sprawled over his front, covered in simple white sleeves that could effectively hide her hands (and her claws), her head rested on his shoulder while the rest of her body was firmly attached via magic. The Hulk had more or less learned to ignore the feeling of the charm after the second time.

Bruja's rumbling purrs did little to soothe the bad mood.

So while the Hulk did some massive damage to the local vegetation, probably scaring quite a few things half to death in the process, Bruja simply stayed on his back, more or less sleeping, or as close as you could get to the frustrated roars of the Hulk.

When Bruce turned back, Bruja had already shifted into her feline form and had went off to find something they could reasonably cook.

"So...mind tell me what that was about, nya?" asked Bruja.

Bruce looked a tad embarrassed.

"I guess I've been frustrated about all these magicals coming around trying to take you away."

"Why, nya?"

Seeing the look Bruce shot her, it took her a few minutes to put two and two together.

Her expression was priceless, but Bruce reminded himself that Diana never really had a chance to experience actual love, not a faked version for people trying to get close to you.

The closest she could compare it to was the fondness Bruce had for her in cat form before they finally had a proper place to call home, and that wasn't close to what Bruce was starting to feel for her.

"Me?"

She sounded so lost and confused. She had no idea what the feelings were that she had for Bruce, and to a lesser extent his other personality.

Hell, she was so jaded about her humanity that she still had trouble remembering why people bothered with clothes. Steve had reluctantly learned to ignore it when Bruja forgot to put clothes on when shifting...the spell that made the 'dress' sometimes took a few moments to kick in.

And Bruce...well, he had learned to deal with the fact that Bruja had no issues parading around in her birthday suit around him.

She just looked so confused that she barely reacted when Bruce hugged her. Though her reaction to him scratching her ears was normal. She leaned into him while purring, her tail swishing in a contented manner.

It felt...nice...just being held like that without any expectations or demands.

Diana didn't know when she fell asleep, only that Bruce let her curl up in his arms...while in her human form.

* * *

After the Hulk's little episode, and the revelation that Diana definitely hadn't picked up on some of the signals Bruce had been giving off...especially the most telling one... the Avengers noticed something they had been anticipating for months.

Bruce was openly showing he thought Diana less as his pet and more as a potential romantic interest.

Natasha and Pepper had tag-teamed against the worst offenders who were likely to ruin the budding relationship...namely Clint and Tony, who found the entire thing endlessly amusing...while Thor and Steve would simply remain watchers.

Finally Tony found a topic that could safely broach the fact Diana was definitely an Avenger without getting lynched by the girls.

"So what sort of code name should we give her? Bruja, I mean."

"Code name?"

"Well she is a member of the team...albeit the furriest one. And don't deny that we've made use of that weird ability to make temporary shields in a fight," said Tony.

The furry Bruja that rode on the Hulk had a habit of making instant shields. Something they had all, at one point or another, taken advantage of. Even the super spies. Every time her tail would twitch, a shield would appear at the convenient time blocking a random attack or bullet aimed at a random Avenger.

And she sometimes did it without even _looking_ , which drove Tony nuts.

"How about Black Cat?" said Steve.

"No way. That would make her bad luck, and she's definitely our good luck charm," said Tony. Bruce nodded in agreement.

Bruja, in her human form, snorted.

"You know we don't actually regard black cats as bad luck. They're just considered pets, and it's hard enough to get one to even _ride_ a broom while it's in flight. They don't actually have any impact on us. Except maybe Kneazles, but they're magical cats with unusually high intelligence," Bruja piped up.

"Damn. There goes that myth," said Tony.

"Frost Cat?" said Clint. Seeing their looks, he shrugged. "She's almost always in that long-sleeved dress thing."

"What about Lucifer?" offered Bruja.

"You want us to give you a nickname after the devil?" said Steve incredulous.

Bruja gave Steve the strangest look.

"You really need to re-read the bible...or learn Latin. Lucifer roughly translates into 'light-bringing, morning star'. And if you really were a good Christian you'd remember that originally Lucifer was an arch angel," said Bruja slowly. Steve blinked twice.

"Okay that's a bit of esoteric knowledge. How in the _hell_ do you know that?" asked Natasha incredulous.

"There's a reason why the stereotype for a witch usually includes satanic occult garbage. The church didn't like the fact that the older magical families preferred to worship the older gods instead of the recently arrived Christianity, so they started the witch-hunts. Of course they killed more normal people than actual witches, especially when the flame-freezing charm became wide spread...and the bubble head charm. Once they realized they were killing more of their flock than actual witches...well, they went another route."

Seeing she had their attention, she shrugged.

"Reading about the witch hunts was more interesting than hearing yet another story about goblin rebellions. Anyway the church started spreading lies about the magical families worshiping the devil, made a good chunk of the pagan symbolism look like satanic worship and eventually they forced people like me to go into hiding unless we wanted to be ostracized as devil-worshiping monsters. We got the last laugh though."

"What did you do?"

"You ever wonder why all stories about dragons, unicorns, centaurs and all those supposedly fictional creatures dried up?" said Bruja with a smirk.

"No way. Dragons are real?" said Clint, jaw dropping.

"Real and living the high life in most sanctuaries. Dragon-handling is a job available at my old school, as is curse-breaking, alchemy...a whole slew of things that sound ridiculous. And we use real gold, silver and copper for our monetary system. Hell, jewels are cheaper to buy in the magical alleys than they are in real life...unless they're enchanted."

Seeing them stare, Diana grinned.

"We made it a lot harder to find gold and other precious metals, and most of the diamond mines are actually owned by the older magical families. Hell, I own one and I just get a good chunk of the profits from selling them to normal people."

"So... name?" asked Tony, changing the subject.

No real consensus was met that night...and they would rather come up with a name before the media gave her one.

They were having trouble naming her too.


	5. Chapter 5

"Diana," said Bruja one morning at breakfast.

"Hmm?" said Tony, not fully awake.

"My nickname can be Diana. Everyone just knows me as the silly Bruja, not by the Roman goddess of the Moon. Or Morning Glory, since that nurse didn't write my middle name properly," said Bruja.

"What about Bastet?" Bruce piped up, having heard the conversation.

"Who?" said Steve.

"Bastet was an Egyptian cat-goddess, and her opposite side was a ferocious lion goddess by the name of Sekhmet," supplied Bruce.

"I think Bastet would fit best, even if she isn't Egyptian," said Natasha.

"Especially since she went from lazy house cat to mean as hell lioness when those British guys showed up," supplied Tony.

Bruja purred, pleased with the compliment.

"Bastet then? Motion carries. Your official Avenger name is Bastet," said Tony. Then he downed an entire cup of coffee.

"Wait...does Bastet exist?" asked Bruce, suddenly remembering Thor.

Thor shook his head.

"I have only ever met one other 'pantheon' as you would call it, and that was the Greeks. If those gods exist, then I am sure she would not be too offended by the use of her name. Indeed, she might be pleased with the comparison, for your feline companion is a powerful sorceress who exemplifies the same traits she prizes," said Thor.

And by that, he meant the fact Bruja preferred to stay in cat form for long periods.

Considering he was the resident 'pagan god' in the group, they took his word for it.

"Of course you could always ask Loki if you are unsure," he added.

"How is Loki, by the way?" asked Tony mock-innocently.

"He is on 'probation' I believe you would call it. As he was proven to be under the control of another when he attacked New York, the All-Father has confined him to the palace for the time being, except if something happens. He's been more or less holed up in the libraries for months," said Thor.

"Or we could call me the Cheshire cat," said Bruja.

"I think Cheshire would suit you better," said Bruce.

Bruja sometimes vanished and reappeared in random places, usually after a bit of mischief. The Cheshire cat from the Alice in Wonderland stories was just as mischievous as Bruja was. And it had the added benefit of not offending any gods, should they take note.

* * *

Bruja decided to make her new "Avenger" name known during a battle with one of Dr. Doom's robots.

When one of them came a bit too close to hitting her from her usual spot on the Hulk's back, she detached and rent the machine into tiny pieces.

A long, low yowl akin to a cat's roar was heard, and more than a few people turned into confusion...only to realize that Bruja had gotten bored and decided to 'play'.

Her usual white 'dress' shifted into something a bit more form fitting and pure black. It looked like pure fur, and matched her waving tail with ease. But the most shocking change was her hands, which became a pair of massive black paws complete with six-inch claws.

Every time the bell on her collar chimed, she would vanish and reappear behind or to the side of a robot, before using her claws to rip their metal casing into thin strips.

Finally with one last 'ching-ling' of her bell, Bruja appeared close to the Hulk, who paid no mind to her returning to her preferred spot. Of course the fact she had returned to her simple black cat form didn't hurt. She lounged like a scarf around Hulk's neck, pleased as could be.

* * *

A few days later, after most of the repairs had been completed or begun, the Avengers hosted a familiar reporter outside the common area they relaxed in.

Only this time people were more interested in the 'newest' addition to their group.

Tony, their usual spokesperson, decided a demonstration was in order.

He pulled out...

"Is that a laser pointer?"

Tony casually pointed it at the table, and without warning Bruja appeared from above trying to claw him.

He yelped, thankfully in a manly way, when he realized that at some point Clint had put _catnip_ into his pocket.

"Dammit Hawkeye, I thought we agreed no cat attacks!"

Hawkeye snickered.

"Not my fault Thor saw the laser pointer on the table and I just happened to inform Cheshire that there was fresh catnip in your pockets."

Tony grumbled.

Bruja had already extracted the catnip from his shirt pocket, and with a twitch of her tail repaired the damage.

"Cheshire?" said the reporter, amused.

"The Hulk's pet cat and sidekick. OW!"

"Call me a side kick again, and I'll do worse than claw you, Nya," said Bruja smugly.

The reporter almost jumped when she realized the cat had suddenly turned into an honest-to-god cat girl. She didn't have the long slinky dress or massive claws, but she did have the usual white one that she was often in.

"Ladies and gentlemen... Cheshire," said Tony.

Bruja sat in the chair with her feet up on the cushion, and was using her hand like a cat.

"So...how long has the Hulk had a cat?" asked the reporter.

"Close to four or five years, nya. I only regained human form about a year ago because Loki decided to be a bigger ass than normal, nya."

"Loki as in the god who took out a good chunk of New York?"

"He was under control of another 'alien', nya. One who has a habit of brainwashing people into following him, nya. Thor would know more, nya."

"Do you have a normal name?" asked the reporter.

Bruja narrowed her green eyes at the woman, who suddenly shrinked in on herself. Her personality shifted from the friendly, if lazy Bruja to the much more dangerous Diana.

"My experience with reporters is that they often change words to suit their own ends. I'll not have you dragging my personal history up just to suit the demands of the sheeple, especially considering all the effort I went to abandon who I was before. Unlike this idiot, I despise being known to the average person. I'd much rather be known as the silly Cheshire than that person ever again."

The reporter shivered, and Diana got down from the chair.

"If you try to drag me into another interview, you're going to have to explain to Pepper why the sheets have been shorted for a month," said Diana ominously. She turned back into Bruja and with a leap off Tony's head vanished back upstairs.

Bruja curled into Bruce's lap, memories she wished to forget having been stirred up.

"So that was Cheshire. I'm surprised she never appeared before now."

"She's a lazy cat, but when the chips are down she's the first to jump in and help," said Tony. He made a face. "She just didn't want to get involved without a proper superhero name."

* * *

The public accepted the name with ease. They accepted the fact the Hulk had a pet cat...and adoptions for stray animals went through the roof finding out that the strongest Avenger owned an animal he had picked up somewhere in South America.

Cheshire became popular over night. Even more than the Black Widow, which amused Clint endlessly.

Apparently the fact Cheshire didn't have a perfect hourglass figure or have an over-large chest like Natasha did, but a modest one. Her casual way of draping over the Hulk and acting like the cat she was made her popular to cat-lovers everywhere...and no small amount of people who had a cat-girl fetish.

And that amused Tony. It didn't amuse Bruce...at all.

"I really, really hate reporters..." muttered, Bruja, her tail flicking rapidly in agitation.

"Okay I know I'm probably going to get clawed for this, but why do you have such an extreme reaction to them?"

Bruja scowled at Clint. Then she vanished for a moment before coming back ten minutes later with a large number of magical newspapers.

"Read these then ask why I hate reporters," said Diana irritated.

Five papers in and most of the Avengers were either wincing or becoming more than a little homicidal.

The homicidal group belonging to Bruce, Natasha...and surprisingly Clint.

"Wow...these people are idiots. And this Rita Skeeter sounds like a total hag," said Pepper.

"She could turn into a beetle, and she abused it to get a scoop. If that wasn't bad enough she used this acid green quill that would misquote and lie outright flagrantly. The worst part was that people _believed_ the bullshit she wrote," said Diana sourly.

Tony made an odd hum sound in his throat.

"I wonder how the reporters would react if they saw the amazing flying furball...OW!"

Diana blinked, before a slow evil grin came across her face that would have made Loki wary.

"I don't like that look. Go back to the lazy cat one you usually have," said Tony without hesitation.

Bruce, having grown used to Diana/Bruja at her worst, shrugged.

"This isn't going to require me to clean up, is it?"

"No, just give physicists the world over migraines trying to explain _how that's possible_ ," said Bruja evilly.

"The amazing flying kitty?" said Bruce. Bruja nodded with far too much glee.

* * *

Tony was the one who brought up the news reports of a black cat flying like mad in Manhattan. Naturally Fury was torn between ordering someone to catch that cat or tearing out his nonexistent hair.

Mostly because S.T.A.F.F. wanted her to quit blatantly showing off magic to the world.

There was one problem.

 _Bruja wasn't using mortal magic_.

She was in fact, horribly mangling the powers she had gained when she had more or less absorbed three Infinity Stones, not that anyone was aware of this fact.

Space, because how else could she appear and disappear contrary to whatever wards were there?

Mind, because levitation was infinitely more useful than actual flight...the only limits were those you put on yourself, so several maneuvers she shouldn't have been capable were suddenly possible, to the frustration of those who followed logic.

And Soul, because she wouldn't be able to stay herself otherwise, despite the hell she'd gone through for decades.

It all culminated in the fact that Bruja could and would jump on random sticks that had no magic whatsoever and would fly them around New York in full view of everyone, eventually land and jump on some other random thing before flying again and repeating the process. The items in questioned would be examined until there was nothing left until the scientists would realize with fascination that it wasn't the items that were causing her to fly, but the insanely science-and-logic defying _cat_ that was causing them to fly.

Needless to say she would laugh herself sick for several days as people tried in vain to explain _how_ that was possible, including the magicals.

There were even a few collisions as animal control attempted to catch her, only to hilariously crash into each other with their poles and nets, to the amusement of the bystanders.

Tony was howling in laughter at the sheer unprecedented chaos the feline unleashed with the stunt.

Of course that was nothing compared to Loki's reaction upon watching a recording of Bruja's nine-hour flight.

The evil cackling he unleashed had people watching their backs for _weeks_ for fear of his pranks.

As a god of mischief, Loki could appreciate a good prank, and what the cat unleash was comic GOLD.

"Is it just me or is Bruce's cat a troll?" asked Clint.

"It's not you," said Natasha.

Bruja can and would prank someone or mess with their head for the sheer fun of it, or because she was bored. She thrived on screwing with the laws of physics around Tony and Bruce, if only for them to try and figure out _how_ she could do that before giving up and chalking it up to it being a "Bruja thing" and regaining what little sanity they had left.

Case in point, the fact Bruce no longer sported a massive blush due to waking up with a clearly naked twenty-something with cat features and a considerable lack of interest in common nudity taboos whilst they were alone.

That wasn't to say Bruja cared outside, she just didn't want Pepper to lock up her catnip or pinch her ears _again_ for waltzing out the room without a stitch on.

Diana clearly found Pepper to be a mothering figure that she had lacked her entire life, with Natasha as an older sister who sometimes conspired with her to mess with the boys. Clint was the big brother she liked to play pranks with. Tony was the cousin that she loved to annoy. Thor was a friend that visited often and was practically family.

And Bruce...well, it was a toss up whether she saw him as family or as a romantic interest, though the bets were on 'romantic interest' considering how often she cuddled with him without any clothes on and how close she was to him.

If not for the fact that Diana was absolutely terrifying when she was out (usually because when she was Diana she was generally pissed off about something and a force of nature), and Bruja preferred to be a lazy kitten who lounged against Bruce who no longer blushed whenever he felt the cat against him in her human form, then odds were he might have asked her out.

Of course it hadn't surprised any of them when Tony made an 'innocent' comment about Bruce being a 'Furry' fan and his fellow genius decided to prank him for a week.

That was after Bruce looked up what the hell Tony meant by that, and decided that perhaps he should emulate his beloved cat to get Tony to drop it.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Okay, since people keep asking me where she got three stones: Soul= resurrection stone. Mind= Staff. Space= tesseract. Hope that clears it up.**_

* * *

Bruce was initially unsure of asking Bruja out on a proper date...in no little part due to the fact he knew Tony and by extension the others would be watching them the entire time. And would undoubtedly make comments on after.

Still, he had decided that he had very little left to lose, and it was more of an outing than an actual date.

Diana's experience with dating was more of a forced thing, not the casual nature Bruce was going to employ.

She was as suspicious about someone asking her out as Bruce would be to someone merely asking him before he joined the Avengers as to the area he lived in, or attempts to befriend him from the local troublemakers.

Both had learned over a period of years that what people _said_ and what they actually _wanted_ generally didn't mix. They had been more or less conditioned to be suspicious of people they didn't know who were asking for something.

For Diana it was her money, her fame, her power or even her gender.

For Bruce it was almost always about the Hulk.

So yes, he was very cautious about asking Diana out on a date.

* * *

Bruja perked up when Bruce offered to take her out for the night. Not as his cat but as a friend.

"Do I have to ditch the ears?"

"You can keep them flattened against your hair and the tail act like a belt," said Bruce.

When her ears were flat and her tail curled around her waist, she looked a lot like Diana, only more laid back.

Bruja was generally the one people dealt with. Diana was the pissy other side of her that she would have loved to forget, but acknowledged was necessary to have a healthy personality.

Bruja was easy-going, lazy, and had a bit of a trolling mischievous streak a mile wide. She was more inclined to laze about in the sun than actually go out and fight bad guys, and she only had a passing familiarity with technology. She could search the internet and operate most devices, but that was as far as her interest went. She was also a firm nudist, not really caring whether she wore clothes or not, but put up with the fact she had to whenever Pepper was around. Most of the time she was asleep, or curled up around Bruce if she could manage it.

Diana was a vengeful, distrusting witch who had power in spades and wasn't afraid to blast someone to prove she would take no shit from anyone. The only person she remotely trusted was Bruce, and that was solely because of how he treated Bruja. She rarely cared about her clothes, but unlike her feline personality she wore the more often than not. She was the personality that came out whenever something really pissed off Bruja. Most of the time she slept, and she terrified everyone around her when she was awake and in control.

Diana was the side of the lazy cat who wouldn't hesitate to kill if it meant getting the job done or limiting the casualties of those she cared about. Ironically, it was Diana who spent most of her time "talking" to Hel, who kept her appraised of the universe at large and what was happening.

It was Diana that had been told of Thanos shortly after Loki's arrival, and about the Infinity Stones. She was Hel's avatar among the living, but she was loath to call upon her patron goddess unless circumstances forced her to do so.

Bruce knew of a place that served chicken and other poultry, since unlike most cats Bruja was more of a fan of birds than of fish. In spite of her preference, she never chased birds or attacked them while lazing about on the parapet outside Tony's living area. In fact the ones that roosted there ignored her after recognizing she had no interest in eating or bothering them.

Bruja loved heights, and she was more often than not perched somewhere very high, often in areas not even Clint could 'perch' on while at the tower. It was yet another reason why they got along far too well for the sanity of the others.

Natasha, alerted to the fact Bruce had asked Bruja out, promptly dragged the girl aside and more or less gave her an ultimatum.

She either wore proper clothes, or she was going to hide all the food and toys Bruja liked to play with.

She could wear jeans and a shirt if she wanted, but she would be wearing clothes.

Bruja found a long slinky black skirt that went down to her knees. Her tail easily slid through the adjustments Pepper had discreetly added so that it appeared she was wearing an unusual belt. The shirt was one that looped around her neck and attached to the collar she always wore, even going so far as to add a water-repelling charm around it so she didn't need to take it off. Unlike the skirt it was a deep blue color similar to the night sky. The shirt itself was a sleeveless thing and left her back completely exposed, save for about four inches where it met the skirt.

For her shoes, she wore a pair of simple sandals that left her toes exposed, but were designed for people who enjoyed running.

Normally Bruja favored shirts that hid her hands, thus keeping the fact she could extend her nails into cat's claws invisible from a casual glance. Most of her 'wardrobe' actually mimicked kimono in that respect, though she more often than not preferred pants, as they were easier to move in.

If she wasn't in the illusion of wearing a light summer dress with long sleeves that attached to the collar, then she was wearing something out of her wardrobe.

Upon seeing Bruja ready to go, Bruce took her out to a nice Japanese restaurant because he knew of Bruja's fascination with the culture...in no small part due to the fact there was a plethora of sites dedicated to the "Cat-Girl" genre, as well as the rather large abundance of magical girl animes.

Bruja was currently learning how to speak Japanese with an amused Natasha occasionally helping. Out of the Avengers, she was the only one who was genuinely good at more than a few languages. The fact they could both speak actual Latin didn't hurt either.

Bruce clearly had a reaction to the appearance of Bruja. If she had cared to notice, she would have realized he found her current appearance pleasing.

She had next to no experience with men. And the less said about her formative years and dealing with personal relationships, the better.

It was just a miracle her former _friends_ had yet to make an appearance.

Had she known that they had both received a warning from the American Ministry never to come fifty feet from her, she would have been happy indeed. For some _absurd_ reason, everyone and their grandmother back in England expected her to marry one of the Weasleys.

It was half-way through the rather tasty chicken dish (she made a point of writing down what it was called to get the recipe...all she knew was that it was super spicy and more than a few people were looking at her oddly for adding _more_ of the green paste known as wasabi to it) that she slowly began to realize that this might qualify as a date. It wasn't until they were halfway through the broadway show (nothing decent was on at the movies, and it was too loud for her tastes) that she realized it definitely qualified as a date.

The revelation didn't bother her as much as it would have, had it been anyone else.

She knew instinctively she could trust Bruce.

Survivors of the hell that came from a really bad childhood always recognized one of their own. It was why she could so easily laze about on the Hulk's back even in the middle of a fight that could qualify as an active war zone, flinging only shields around.

Once they left a decently acted rendition of _Beauty and the Beast_ (likely chosen out of pure irony, considering Tony had picked the show), Bruce then took her out for some ice cream...watching her devour it with pleased purrs meant he now knew the reason why it kept vanishing within a day of being bought.

It had never occurred to them that the mischievous black cat of the tower had a massive sweet tooth. The other Avengers had taken to _hiding_ their frozen treats from the thief. It was only semi-successful, as it was pretty obvious that whoever was doing it would avoid certain foods.

Natasha had even laced some of hers with weak poisons meant to incapacitate the thief...only to get 'tagged' with some weak snake venom when she went to open the tub. She spent three days in the bathroom and had sworn vengeance on Clint for the week after.

It was as they were back in the tower that Bruja surprised Bruce.

"This was a fun night," she said...before kissing him firmly on the cheek.

Then she turned into her cat form and curled around his neck, purring.

Seeing Tony's expression, what Bruce said next was entirely unsurprising.

"One word Tony and you'll find yourself having a repeat of the last time you insinuated I was a 'furry' enthusiast," said Bruce.

Tony mimed zipping his lips, but his grin was still visible.

It was pretty clear that Bruja had picked up on the fact that Bruce liked her as more than just a 'pet' or a 'fellow Avenger'. After their successful first date, the slow but steady pace began to gain momentum.

Bruja was still innocent in many ways, as being with Bruce was actually the longest she had ever been with anyone...especially if you took into account all the years she spent as simply Bruja, his pet cat. The fact she had realized Bruce was attempting to date her at all was a testament to how far she had come from the socially awkward girl she had been before throwing everything to the wind and turning into a cat for just shy of five years...before that jerk Loki forced her back into a human form.

Speaking of Loki...

* * *

"You want me to what, nya?" asked Bruja, tilting her head.

"Loki's probation has ended, but he has withdrawn from everyone. He won't even acknowledge our mother, and out of all of us he had been the closest to her. I fear he might do something worse than his actions in New York if something doesn't snap him out of it."

"I get it, nya. You want Diana to come to Asgard and deliver an epic beat down, or give Loki something _other_ than his misguided quest to get back at you for being the favored son," said Bruja, giving Thor a shrewd look.

Loki wouldn't listen to reason, or those who genuinely cared about him...but giving him a rival and someone he could try and outdo might work better than anything else Thor could have come up with.

He wouldn't listen to those who were closer than his own blood...but he might listen to the jeers of a rival he acknowledged and even remotely respected.

"I'm going to need someplace where Diana can go all out, nya. And it had better be uninhabited...she doesn't hold back punches and she's far more bloodthirsty than I am, nya," said Bruja seriously.

Diana had been more or less forged into Dumbledore's perfect weapon against Tom Riddle. And he succeeded, far beyond anything Dumbledore could have hoped. Had she not made a last ditch bid for the sake of her own humanity, she would had been turned into the Ministry's attack dog.

It was also the reason she generally came out whenever Bruja was really, really pissed off.

"I'll have one of the training grounds cleared," offered Thor, but she shook her head.

"Not good enough. When Diana gets going, she really, _really_ gets going. Collateral damage would be the least of it, and for a proper magical battle there can't be distractions. And she can be really, really nasty when she puts her mind to it."

There was another, more vicious reason, but she wanted to delay _that_ revelation for as long as she could.

* * *

"You're going to Asgard?" said Bruce.

"The Hulk already gave Loki a much needed beat down, but apparently the message hasn't sunk in so I'm going to give him a rival he can respect. It's better he focus on trying to beat Diana than continue his efforts to get rid of his brother."

"Oh, so you're going to give Loki nightmares about getting his ass kicked by a girl," said Tony.

Bruja gave Tony a lazy smirk.

"Tony, let's not forget Pepper can kick your ass in and out of your suit, nya," said Bruja.

Everyone except Tony started laughing because it was true. Pepper had him on a short leash and everyone knew it.

Seeing Tony pout, Bruja hid a frown.

There was something wrong with Tony Stark. Bruja could see souls, not that she ever really paid attention, but whenever she looked at Tony she always saw this darkness in his.

It had started shortly after the incident with the man who used a cheap knock-off of his reactor and his near death experience...and it had only gotten worse the more super villians had started to show up.

The second she first heard of "Ultron", an AI designed to the Avengers jobs for them, Bruja had known something was wrong with him that ran soul deep.

Any idiot who's read science fiction would know that charging an AI to defend humans from threats was a terrible mistake. No matter how many safeguards you put into place, it would only come back later to bite you in the ass.

The reason for it was so simple it was too obvious for people to realize.

The greatest threat to humanity was humanity itself.

Throw a T-Rex or an alien invasion at the bulk of humanity, and eventually one would be born or rise to deal with the threat and remove the obstacle. Bring in a super villain or a super hero, and their counters would start popping out of the woodworks to keep a balance.

The one thing humanity has never been able to successfully pull off was to safeguard from _itself_. A fact Tony simply refused to realize.

After all, she had come to realize that while she safeguarded people from the Hulk, the Hulk was a safeguard against Diana.

If push came to shove, she'd remove them _both_ from the planet so they could live in peace without the headache of the little things like governments, super villains, or other idiocies that people came up with to bother them.

Still, this would be the longest she was away from Bruce since they started living together, even if she had been a cat at the time.


	7. Chapter 7

The first thing Bruja had to deal with upon her arrival to Asgard: Horses.

Specifically the fact she had to ride one as a human rather than as a cat. And she knew better than to make it a flying horse, because the animal would likely panic.

Sighing in her head, Bruja reluctantly got onto the large beast...but rather than ride side-saddle, which was far more convenient given she was stuck in her usual white dress, she chose the smarter option.

She switched her dress into a pair of plain jeans and a white shirt that connected to her collar.

All her years riding a broom (and a few other things in her cat form) made it easier for her to pick up on riding the horse. It wasn't _that_ much different from riding a hippogryff.

 _Half an hour later..._

Loki took one look at the evil cat who had so mercilessly pranked the hell out of him and scooted as far back as he could away from her. She grinned.

"Someone has a long memory. Good," said Diana a little too smug.

Loki winced.

"You'll be happy to know I've been brought here to show you who the superior mage is. No physical attacks unless they're magic based."

Loki perked up at the implied challenge, but not at the fact he would be facing _her_.

"What are the rules?" asked Loki, almost warily.

"We're going to a dead planet where we can go no-holds-barred on our magic. Meaning you can go all out with your powers without having to worry about collateral damage... at least that's the idea anyway."

"And what's in it for me?"

"We break you of those ridiculous daddy-issues you have and get you to focus on something other than proving you're better than Thor, you get to leave Asgard for a while. And really Loki, why are you so dead set on Thor anyway? He's a blond, for crying out loud."

"What does his hair color have to do with anything?"

"There's a bit of a stereotype on Midgard stating almost all blonds are complete idiots. Dumb blond, is the term I believe," stated Diana flatly.

"And what's in it for you?"

"Misplaced aggression and a chance to compare myself with a _real_ magic user, not those pathetic stick wavers. Besides, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s little magic group never has anything for a straight out front-line attacker and her tank of a boyfriend."

"...Tank?"

"Video-game term. Means they can take heavy damage and then deal it out in return. If I'm the one who deals the major spells, then the 'Hulk' is my shield, the one I stay behind while he destroys the enemies who simply can't take a hint and stay down."

Loki thought that one over, and realized she had a point.

"Besides... Hel really doesn't want to deal with seeing you sulk for a century again," she added as an after-thought.

Loki choked.

* * *

The realm of the Dark Elves. A dead world. A world where there would be no interruptions of any kind, where they could unleash their most destructive of magics.

Loki approved.

Thor reluctantly went back to Asgard, where he would stand watch with his mother using her scrying mirrors.

Diana allowed Loki to make the first move. And he did so by testing the waters...with a massive fireball.

If there was no reason to hold back, then he wouldn't bother to.

Diana smirked, and leaned back to allow the blast to pass over her. She wasn't in her usual white gown that Bruja wore to keep Pepper from annoying her about her nudity.

Diana was in the full garb of what would be traditionally worn by a Master Sorceress. One who generally rivaled any goddess of magic in power and knowledge. It was a long dress that changed color depending on who looked at it.

In Loki's eyes, it shined an immortal silver, almost like pure moonlight. Her eyes shimmered like liquid pools of green...almost emerald in quality, but more _alive_ than any mere stone or gem. Her skin was a healthy golden color, that of someone who spent a good amount of time in the sun, but not so much that her skin burned. Her feet were almost bare, save for the sandals that were in the shape of a large cat's paw.

She wore no belt, for her tail snugly wrapped around her waist. Her eyes flicked this way and that, catching every sound, even those too low or high for a human to hear.

Diana's retaliation for the blast was quick, and to the point. Hurricane winds whipped up in a fury surrounding her. Loki's flames could not hope to match such power, as she sent them towards him with whip-like qualities.

Loki shielded as best he could, but her winds were unrelenting.

Realizing a direct assault was pointless, Loki shifted to his best moves.

Outright trickery and illusion.

With no reason to hold back, Loki's grin was downright evil as he began his assault on the sorceress.

Magic filled the air. Winds whipped around with all the fury of the strongest storms and the most terrifying gales. Chunks of earth were thrown apart, transformed, destroyed, obliterated. Illusions were cast, ignored or turned aside.

Terrifying transformations of the mages were seen as great beasts slammed into each other with every intent to kill the other, only for some new trick or spell to turn away the killing blow at the last possible moment.

There was a reason why Diana insisted that the fight between master level sorcerers be held on a dead planet. The sheer damage done would have made even the most cynical person quake in horror.

Thor was given a sobering realization that Loki could have done far, far worse if he had been given the chance. Had he chosen to destroy, rather than simply rule...the consequences would have been devastating.

Thor wasn't the only one watching the battle. All over Asgard, the scene of the least-favored Prince against the unknown cat-earred woman was being watched.

Mages all over the realms were being vindicated as they watched Loki cause such devastation using nothing but magic, rather than simple brute force.

Then came the final, massive clash of magic...and Loki was left kneeling at the feet of the unknown sorceress.

"Do you yield, God of Mischief?"

"I yield," he said, though in his tone was something he did not give lightly.

Respect.

The woman held out her hand, and helped Loki up.

"It's been a while since I was given a _real_ challenge of my skills. You were a very worthy opponent...especially given that I wasn't pulling out my very best tricks on you."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Diana... the mortal Priestess of Hel herself," she said formally. "For I shall become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds."

Silence.

* * *

 _Back in Asgard..._

"You asked _Hel's Chosen_ to challenge Loki?!" hissed Frigga.

All gods sensed the moment Hel claimed her Avatar among the humans, for she could not leave her realm so freely. However her Chosen, a witch of Midgard, could enact Hel's will without breaking the celestial laws.

Thanos, the Mad Titan in particular, wished to find and either convert the Chosen or eradicate her before she threatened his attempts to court Death herself.

It was rumored that the Chosen asked for a favor of her Goddess, but no one knew what the favor had been.

Now they had a general idea. Thor had been quite vocal about what he knew of the oddity that was Bruja, the feline companion of the "Hulk". What little he knew about her, what little Tony had been able to find... she was quite the mystery, because Loki had recognized the feel of the magic that kept her in feline form, but could not identify who had done it.

For Hel to lock her Chosen in the form of a cat... it was quite unusual.

Loki eyed Diana warily. In Asgard, she had yet to revert back to her lazy, if rather playful self as Bruja the cat-eared witch. Instead she was the sadistic and utterly vengeful Diana, which was really worrying Thor.

Fortunately for the hammer-heavy blond god, Diana was on her best behavior.

Well that and they were able to politely ask her to direct her surprisingly bloodthirsty nature towards the bandits.

She apparently got off on overpowering her opponents and sending them sky-high.

If she had been Bruja, she would have compared Diana as a combination of Lina Inverse (for sheer magical power and casual disregard for life) and Akano Himejima from _High School DxD_ (for how much she enjoyed acting as the Master Sorceress she was and torturing weaker bandits).

On the plus side, Loki had _yet_ to hear a single word about how magic was lesser compared to brute strength. The Warriors Three were actually _respecting_ him again as a fellow warrior, even if it was only because Loki demonstrated exactly what he could do when he was both pissed off and not in the mood to hold anything back.

"So tell me, Chosen, exactly what is that great brute to you anyway? A foot soldier?" asked Loki.

"Hardly. The 'Hulk', as the mortals call him, is my consort. Like him, I draw my greatest reserves from my rage, except I know how to channel it better," said Diana with a scoff. "However Bruce has yet to cop onto the fact that Bruja genuinely cares for him as more than just a 'pet-owner' deal."

If one were to compare the relationship Diana had with the Hulk, or more specifically the fact that in terms of sheer magical power she could be his rival, then the easiest word to use would be consort.

Husband and wife was a mortal concept, and the bonds between them far too easily broken. Lovers was too impersonal. A 'mistress' meant that the Hulk was superior to her in some way. However a consort was considered the equal of their partner.

Diana happened to like the Hulk. Bruja, the part of her that still felt love, cared for Bruce deeply.

In short, Diana considered the Hulk worthy of her affection. Enough that she would stick by him when the mortals finally decided they were too 'afraid' of his presence.

"Besides, do you have any idea how hard it is to find anyone worthy of my attentions?" said Diana.

Loki took one look in her eyes and shivered, glad that he had not been unfortunate enough to garner her attention.

* * *

Bruce felt nervous...for more than one reason.

Thor had practically dragged him to the gate and brought him to Asgard without much explanation. At first he thought something had happened to Bruja, and that Thor needed the Hulk's help to get her back.

Then he found out the _real_ reason.

Bruja/Diana didn't need saving...the Asgardians needed Bruce to save _them_ from _her_.

Bruce honestly had no idea Diana was into S and M, or that she could be so terrifying without someone to reign her in. Seeing her blast bandits into whimpering puddles of flesh crying for their mothers was somewhat horrifying.

Her evil laughter was more than a little disturbing. He was honestly more surprised she wasn't wearing some leather outfit designed to emphasize her body to complete the look.

"So let me get this straight. She scared Loki into behaving and earned him the respect he should have gotten centuries ago...but now you can't get her to leave?" said Bruce, incredulous.

Thor winced.

" _Diana_ said that she had been sleeping for too long as it is, and she didn't want to give up on having fun, since she knows full well that the humans of Earth would frown upon her real self," said Thor, emphasizing her name.

Bruce had known there was a split personality in his feline girlfriend...he just had no idea it was their personalities were _this_ far apart.

Bruja was a lazy, mischievous cat who would like nothing better than to sleep all day.

Diana was an absolute nightmare who got off on the pain of others and who wouldn't hesitate to blast people just because she was the most powerful witch in existence.

Loki appeared, and gave Diana a wide berth.

"Could you _please_ take the Chosen back to your planet? At least until she switches from Diana back into your pet witch?" pleaded Loki.

Bruce almost winced. He just hoped he didn't get blasted for approaching her.

Diana's feline ears perked up at the sound of someone approaching.

She turned, her hands glowing in preparation to blast whoever was interrupting her fun. Her eyes softened and slowly bleed back to the lazy green of Bruja.

"Nya... Took you long enough to figure out she wasn't going to stop 'playing'," said Bruja.

Bruja looked at the baffled expressions of the bandits.

"Playing with weaklings like you is boring, nya. Diana must have been really, really bored to 'play' with you losers," said Bruja with a contemptuous look.

"Bruja?" said Bruce carefully, hoping she didn't blast him or anything.

"We like you, so you're safe from her 'play'. But you two should have called him in sooner, before her sadist side came out so much...she doesn't really have that much restraint because of the conditioning," said Bruja cryptically, pointing at the two Asgardians.

Dumbledore wanted a savior, a martyr who wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice herself to his greater good bull.

And he got it...in spades. However thanks to the fact the Dursleys never showed Diana any real kindness or humanity growing up, and the pressure placed on her by the very people she was supposed to save, Diana's 'Golden Gryffindor' image snapped.

Like a brittle twig.

By the end of the war, Diana had no patience for others, and developed a sadistic personality to make Bellatrix Lestrange look like an innocent school girl. She just didn't draw it out as much as the older witch.

If Diana had stayed in England after the war was over, she would have easily cast aside her Light image and turned into the most feared Dark Lady.

She would much rather be Bruja.


	8. Chapter 8

Tony was snickering rather loudly when Bruce explained why Thor dragged him to Asgard.

"So let me get this straight... the big bad Asgardians were terrified of a cat-girl?"

Clint was snickering as well, imagining Loki trembling before the lazy Bruja.

Bruja was lazing about on the odd couch Tony had bought just for her to sleep on in the sun.

"Diana's personality is a combination of Lina Inverse from _Slayers_ and Akeno Himejima from _High School DxD._ Whereas _MY_ personality is closer to Koneko from _High School DxD_. You really don't want Diana out longer than necessary...she gets creative," explained Bruja.

Naturally Tony had to look up the characters Bruja mentioned.

"So...Diana is a sadist who has little regard for the safety of others and loves to blow things up?" asked Clint, having looked them up as well.

"Diana was turned into a living weapon by a senile old man with delusions of the greater good. If she hadn't agreed to become a Chosen of Hel, she would have easily become a super villain strong enough to give even Steven Strange problems. We'd much rather remain as Bruja," she yawned, showing her kitten fangs, before rolling over to her side.

"Chosen of Hel?" said Natasha.

"The gods of the dead can't act freely like the other ones can. Thor, for instance, can freely manipulate the weather. However those that govern death are considerably more powerful, because they control that which is freely given and often carelessly taken away. So they require Chosen to act as their hands in the world of the living."

"Freely given and carelessly taken?" repeated Tony.

"Life is something that occurs naturally...but giving it back after it has been taken is something only a god of the dead can do. And even then there's restrictions. Because of that, their power is considerably stronger than even that of the 'chief' gods in any pantheon. They do, after all, have a near infinite amount of people they can draw upon to fight in their name, which is something that can't be said of the others."

Seeing them run _that_ tidbit through their heads, they slowly got what she was telling them.

"Because of that, there were restrictions placed on them to limit the danger they presented. One of which was that they couldn't act freely among the living or have access to their full power when they do come out of their realms. But that restriction only applies to them. If they find someone compatible with their power, like me, then that restriction is lifted to the point that when we act in their name or are granted power by them, we have a nearly infinite level of potential power. The only downside is that most can't sustain the level of a god for long, and there have to be certain requirements met."

"So basically you're an acolyte for the Norse goddess of the dead," said Clint.

Seeing the looks on everyone's faces, he shrugged.

"I used to play _Dungeons and Dragons_ a lot as a kid."

"Pretty much."

"Sounds like you have a lot of power. So why were you stuck in the form of a cat?" asked Bruce.

"Diana became an Acolyte almost immediately after the war. The thought of turning into a living weapon didn't appeal to her, no matter how much of a sadist she was. So she asked Hel for a favor in exchange for her service to her."

Every eye was on Bruja, some with incredulous looks.

"Wait... You're telling us you _asked_ to be trapped in the form of a cat?" said Tony in disbelief.

"No one pays attention to stray cats. And it's easier to get the measure of someone in the form of an animal, because they don't feel pressured to hide what they're really thinking. After all, who would a cat tell of their secrets? As for how I ended up in South America in the first place... I blame Hel for it."

Seeing she had confused them once again, Bruja smirked. Time to really shock them.

"So Hawk, you say you used to play _D and D_ a while back?"

"I still play MMO's, if that's what you're asking," said Clint.

"Then do you know what it means when someone talks about a 'tank'?"

"A tank is a character that is centered mainly around taking heavy damage, while at the same time dealing damage after a certain period of time. Pretty much like the Hulk when he's pissed off," said Clint immediately.

"And what's the biggest weakness of a mage character?"

"They have high magical power, but when it comes to taking physical damage they're often weak. Most people generally concentrate on raising their mana or MP, and only boost their ability to take a hit as an after thought. Some do concentrate on lowering their MP requirements for spells though," said Clint. "Their best ability is generally summoning, blasting things from a long range, or in some cases healing damage or boosting the ability of the party."

"...And here I thought Bruce and I were the nerds of the group," said Tony in disbelief.

Bruja's eyes gleamed with mischief.

"So would you say that a heavy-hitting spellcaster like Diana and the Hulk are a perfect match for each other?" she asked with a small grin.

"In terms of attack and defense, they suit each other scarily well. The Hulk can take the physical damage so long as Diana is within range, allowing her to blast people without having to worry about close range fighters. And she can defend against long range attacks against him, which is often a downside to having a 'tank-type' character," admitted Clint.

"Which is why Diana considers the Hulk to be her equal. The fact she happens to like Bruce as much as I do is almost considered a bonus."

"Almost?" repeated Bruce faintly, as he barely had any idea of what they were talking about.

"Diana likes you for you. The fact you're practically the perfect 'tank' to match with her magical ability is a major bonus in her mind. Which means if she ever went all out on someone who pissed her off, the only one safe from collateral damage would be you," said Bruja, using her tail to point directly at Bruce.

"...Do you play MMO's too?" asked Clint.

"My entire childhood was like a crappy MMO. That being said I will pwn you on _World of Warcraft_ , but in exchange you'll have to watch my shows with me," said Bruja.

"Deal. Prepare to get your ass kicked in the arenas," said Clint immediately.

"What just happened?" asked Bruce.

"Bruja and Clint found another reason to bond as brother and sister," deadpanned Natasha, already feeling a headache coming on.

Bruce filed this new overload of information under Bruja...and promptly moved on.

He had learned years ago to smile and nod whenever something weird or confusing as hell happened around his cat. Otherwise he never would have maintained his sanity.

Especially since he saw Clint and Bruja playing some weird fantasy game on the special servers Tony made to visualize what he was making...and saying things he didn't have a clue about.

He did not speak gamer or otaku...and quite frankly he didn't want to know.

* * *

 _He was dreaming. It wasn't hard to figure that much out._

 _For one thing, he was face to face with the Other Guy._

" _ **Pathetic. I do not understand what that One sees in you. You are weak and do not possess the strength to keep her."**_

 _Bruce was in shock that the Hulk could even talk in full sentences like this._

" _What is it that you want?"_

" _ **What I want, puny human, is not something you can give. She is a rare thing indeed, to match my power. Only She can give me what I require. Humans are weak, and do not deserve my protection."**_

 _Before Bruce could say anything, he felt the familiar presence of Bruja._

" _You're a troublesome Shield, you know, Nya. She has openly claimed you, so quit bullying your Other self. It's unbecoming."_

" _ **He is weak. He is not worthy."  
**_

" _Sometimes the Sword and the Shield are not enough, and the Dagger is required. Brute strength is good for a tank...but occasionally that which is weak can overpower even the gods. Besides, you two are stuck together, so deal with it. Not even Hel herself could separate the two of you," said Diana._

 _The Hulk was clearly displeased with that._

 _Diana's smile was anything but reassuring._

" _You are right though. Humans haven't yet earned the honor of being protected by Us. When the time comes that they begin to fear your rage, all you have to do is ask and I shall take us somewhere that the pitiful Earthlings cannot easily follow. After all..."_

"I am the Cheshire."

"What a weird dream..." said Bruce to himself. He didn't even react when he realized Bruja was using him as a pillow...without a stitch on.

Well he did, but he was able to ignore it.

Throughout the day, Bruce had trouble getting the dream out of his head.

The Hulk was apparently _bound_ to him in a way that not even the gods could separate them.

"Nya...you seem troubled today," said Bruja.

"I had a weird dream."

"That wasn't a dream, nya. That was the Hulk getting tired of you trying to hold him back and wanting us to do something about it," said Bruja.

Bruce stared at her.

"What?"

"The Hulk is a God of Rage and Power. Gods can't freely be born into this world, especially new ones, so his soul was tied to yours. Unfortunately a failed god was born before you, and he decided to take out his fear on you instead. Your father didn't understand anything."

"Bruja..." said Bruce, unsure how to react.

"You're not a monster. Do you know the concepts of Yin and Yang?"

"The concept of eternal balance. Yin is darkness, and Yang is light," said Bruce.

"That's the simple version of it. The Chinese believe that in every existence there must be a balance of weakness and strength. Yin, or darkness, represent the weakness in everything. Yang, or light, represents the strength. To put it simple terms, you represent the 'Yin' half of a god. The weakness of the body, but the strength of the mind to compensate. The Hulk represents the 'Yang' half of a god. He has a body that can talk almost any damage and come back swinging, his rage feeding into his power and increasing it exponentially...however this comes at the cost of the weakness of a mind. The Hulk allows the rage to consume him, thus he is 'weak'. Whenever one side takes over, the circle revolves until one side is dominant."

Bruce blinked. That was actually the best explanation he had ever heard for his condition. And it made a lot more sense than anything else he had believed.

"So you're saying..."

"Denying the fact he exists will never help. The only way to have any true control over the 'Hulk' is to accept that you and he are one and the same. Just opposite sides of the same coin. If you can do that, you'll prove your father wrong once and for all that you are not a monster like he was."

"It's hard to accept that kind of idea, you know."

"We know. But there is another option. You entrust us with your 'heart' and we shall help you achieve the balance you lack," said Bruja.

Bruce looked at her, then chuckled. It was hard to believe they were having this weird discussion in a park with no cameras, but there you had it.

"If I entrust you with the 'heart'...then how will I know you would do the same? Diana and Bruja are two different people after all."

"Is that really what you think?" asked Bruja.

Bruce looked at her.

"I am me. No matter what name I go by, or what 'side' is dominant, there is never any doubt of 'who' I am. I accept that Diana is me and she accepts Bruja is her shield against the evils of humanity. You may be my perfect match, Bruce Banner...but you don't know a thing about why Bruja exists."

Bruce was openly puzzled by that declaration, but he understood one fact.

They had just had their first 'fight' as a couple. And he had said something to offend Bruja.


End file.
